


Don't Ever Want to Hear Those Words

by Skaboom



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 03:24:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12379902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skaboom/pseuds/Skaboom
Summary: Theo froze. It was pouring down rain, and he had been prepared to rush inside, but the moment he caught sight of the figure on his front steps, he stopped cold. It took everything that he had inside of him not to turn, to run away, to get back into his car and drive anywhere but here. But what would that solve? What would that do?It would just prove to Liam that Theo was exactly who he thought he was.





	Don't Ever Want to Hear Those Words

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is based (fairly loosely, I guess) from the song November by Gabrielle Alpin, and was prompted to me by 13callieb on tumblr!

Theo froze. It was pouring down rain, and he had been prepared to rush inside, but the moment he caught sight of the figure on his front steps, he stopped cold. It took everything that he had inside of him not to turn, to run away, to get back into his car and drive anywhere but here. But what would that solve? What would that do?

It would just prove to Liam that Theo was exactly who he thought he was. 

With a deep breath, Theo started up again, walking to the steps leading up to his apartment. 

“What are you doing here?” he asked, determined to have the first words. 

“It took me forever to find you,” Liam said, dodging the initial question. “I’ve been looking for you, this whole time...two years.”

“And that’s what,” Theo scoffed. “Supposed to fix everything?”

“Two fucking years, Theo. Almost to the day. I have been thinking about you every moment of every day for two years.”

“Good,” Theo said, folding his arms across his chest. 

“That’s...all you have to say?” Liam asked. “All that time, tall that worry, it doesn’t count for a damn thing?”

“It doesn’t erase what you did, Liam! It doesn’t erase what you said to me.”

“I  _ love  _ you,” Liam argued, reaching up to push his rain-soaked hair from his face. 

“Good for you,” Theo said, rolling his eyes. He reached into his pocket for his keys, pushing past Liam to get to the door. 

“Theo, wait!” Liam said. “You’re really going to do this again? Walk away from me in the pouring rain while I call out for you?”

Theo gripped his keys tightly. He would never forget that moment, how difficult it had been not to turn back around, to go to Liam. He had heard the pain in the other man’s voice as he walked away that day. He had always gone back for Liam and he had always forgiven him everything, but he couldn’t keep doing that to himself. 

“Do you even remember?” Theo said, turning around to face his ex. “Do you even remember what you said to me that day?”

“Theo-”

“No,” Theo shook his head. “You can’t stop thinking about me, that’s all well and good, but every day, every time I stop for even a moment, I hear those words echo over and over again in my mind.”

“We were fighting,” Liam pleaded. “I know that what I said was hurtful, but I didn’t mean it, I-”

“Yes, you did,” Theo said. “You wouldn’t have produced something like that if there hadn’t been truth to it, and I just...I can’t spend a lifetime trying to prove to you that I’ve changed - that I’m not the guy I was when we met. I can’t spend my whole life trying to be good enough for you when it’s never going to happen, I can’t...I can’t bear finishing every damn fight we have with reminders of what I did to you, what I made you do, what I  _ tried _ to make you do. I manipulated you, yes. The Dread Doctors manipulated  _ me _ . I was just a boy, Liam, I didn’t know…” his voice broke. “I don’t have to explain myself to you. I spent three years trying to do that when we were together, and I shouldn’t have to do that anymore. This conversation is over.” 

“Theo, please!” Liam walked towards him, reaching out for him, desperate to keep this conversation going. “I hear what you’re saying - I’m listening, Theo. I’m listening to you.”

“And that’s fine,” Theo snapped. “But it doesn’t matter. If I let you in, we talk, you apologize, I let you...but at the end of the day, I can’t undo the things that I did. I will always be the guy that made you try to kill your Alpha. I will always be the guy that killed Josh, that killed Tracy, that shot Malia. I will always be the guy who...who ripped out his own sister’s heart...and I will always be the guy who remembers how it feels to be standing in the rain, to be told by the man that he loves that a part of him will always be evil.”

“Theo,” Liam’s eyes were shining with tears. “Theo, I was angry. You know how I get when I’m angry. I was hurt and I wanted to hurt you.”

“Well, congratulations!” Theo said. “Mission accomplished.” With that, he turned, letting himself into the building, closing the door quickly before Liam could follow him in.

He ran to his apartment, shivering as he entered, quickly peeling off his soaked clothes the moment the door closed behind him. He didn’t bother to move them to the bathroom, instead leaving them on the floor. He tugged on a pair of sweats before sitting on the edge of his bed, head buried in his hands. 

Theo hadn’t thought he would ever see Liam again. He had left Beacon Hills that day, run far enough that he didn’t think anyone would ever find him. But he hadn’t counted on Liam being so persistent. He had never expected the other man to still be looking for him after two years. A part of him wanted to let himself believe that that meant Liam loved him, that Liam hadn’t believed the words he had said, but that didn’t erase the pain that they had caused. 

Falling in love with Liam had been a shock to Theo’s system, and oh, God, how he had loved Liam. During the three years they were together, nothing made him happier than being with the other man, and nothing hurt more than the screaming fights they would have when something was wrong. He had never felt better than when Liam told him that he loved him, and he had never felt worse than when Liam had torn him down. 

_ “I love you,” Liam looked over at Theo, clearly nervous, searching his eyes for any recognition that the other man might feel the same way. They had been sleeping together for almost six months, going on dates for two, and exclusive for one.  _

_ “I...you do?” Theo knew in that moment that he would never forget that feeling - the first time someone told him that they loved him other than his parents, the first time, he felt, that anyone had really been willing to see him, to get to know him.  _

_ “Yeah,” Liam bit his lip. “Theo, I...I really do. I didn’t mean to, I didn’t expect to, but I-” _

_ Theo cut Liam off, leaning in, kissing him with all of the passion that he could muster.  _

_ “I love you, too.” _

Theo felt his chest tighten as he remembered that night, curled up in bed with the man that he loved, hearing, learning for the first time that Liam felt the same way. He had been stunned that anyone could love him, knowing what he had done. He would learn years later that it wasn’t that simple, that what he had done could never truly be forgiven, no matter how much Liam loved him...and Theo did believe that those words had been true. 

He believed that they were still true, but it didn’t change things. 

_ “What’s this?” Liam looked up at Theo from across the table.  _

_ “Just open it,” Theo said with a smile.  _

_ “You know it’s not my birthday, right?” Liam asked.  _

_ “I know, just...open it.”  _

_ “Okay…”  _

_ Theo watched as Liam undid the bow on the small box, pulling off the lid.  _

_ “Teddy…” he looked up at Theo.  _

_ “Move in with me,” Theo said, his eyes dropping to the key in the box before going back up to Liam. “I know your lease is up next month, just...move in. With me.” _

_ Liam grinned, pulling his keyring from his jacket pocket, adding Theo’s key to it immediately.  _

_ “Yes, of course I will.” He leaned across the table, kissing Theo. “I love you, Teddy.” _

_ “I know you, too.” Theo smiled. “And...this will be good for us.”  _

And it had been good. It had been so good. Having Theo around had helped Liam’s anger issues, and having Liam around? Well, that meant that Theo wasn’t alone, that he had someone to hold every single night. Liam’s scent was everywhere, and being surrounded by that made Theo feel more at home, more at ease. He had realized when Liam had moved in that the comfort he got from the other man was far greater than what he got from anything else. That apartment hadn’t been home to him. Liam had been his home. 

He had let himself think that they would be together forever, and now he knew that was stupid. To let himself believe that he could have a love like that, something good, something that wouldn’t blow up in his face, to let himself believe that he deserved such a thing was ridiculous. He knew that now. 

_ “Stop it!” Theo shouted, following Liam out into the pouring rain. “Don’t walk away from me when I’m talking to you!” _

_ “You’re not talking to me - you’re screaming at me,” Liam shouted back. “I know it pisses you off when I get angry, when I start shit, but I can’t help it, okay?” _

_ “Yes, you can!” Theo shot back. “We’ve been working on it for years now! You’re choosing not to because you like the way it feels to pick fights with people!” _

_ “How-how dare you,” Liam hissed, getting in his face. “How dare you say that to me when you’re the one picking the fight right now?” _

_ “I just didn’t want you to get hurt! That guy was twice your size, Liam!” _

_ “I could have taken him,” Liam snarled. “I’m not some defenseless little boy, Theodore. You should know that by now! I can take care of myself.” _

_ “Oh, yeah? And picking fights with strangers, that’s really good self care, isn’t it?” _

_ “Fuck you.” _

_ “Oh, fuck you right back,” Theo snapped. “You and your fucking anger-” _

_ “Me and my anger?” Liam’s eyes flashed. “MY fucking anger? What about you, Theo? What about you and your fucking evil nature? You come at me, preaching like you’re the best fucking guy of all time, when you’re a murderer, a manipulator! My anger may get me into trouble, but at least I didn’t rip my sister’s still-beating heart out of her chest!”  _

_ Theo froze. Every part of him froze, and his jaw dropped as he looked at Liam.  _

_ "No, Theo, I didn’t…” Liam realized, too late, just what he had said.  _

_ “Don’t bother,” Theo snapped, turning, walking away from Liam.  _

_ “Teddy, wait!” Liam begged.  _

_ "Don’t fucking call me that,” Theo turned around. “Ever again.”  _

Those words hadn’t left Theo alone for two years. Walking away from Liam, they had repeated again and again in his head. No matter how far away he drove, those words echoed. And now? Everytime he stopped to think for too long, every night when he tried to fall asleep, he couldn’t keep them from plaguing his thoughts. 

After all that they had been through, Liam had still seen him as the guy who attacked his defenseless sister. 

Theo lay back on his bed, pulling his blankets around him and closed his eyes, trying to block out the words, trying to block out the sight of Liam after two years, trying to block out the heartbeat that he knew he would always be able to pick out of a crowd. The heartbeat was still strong, which told Theo that Liam hadn’t left, that he was still outside, waiting, but waiting for what? Theo had been clear, he had told Liam to go away, that things were done, and Liam was still there, haunting him, keeping him from being able to fall asleep. 

Finally, after well over an hour, Theo groaned, getting out of  bed. He pulled a sweatshirt on over his bare chest and stomped down the stairs, opening the door to the apartment building. Liam was still sitting on the steps, soaked and shivering, though the rain had recently stopped.

“You’re going to freeze to death out there,” Theo said. “Go home.”

“I can’t,” Liam said, standing up, turning to look at Theo. His nose and cheeks were red, his eyes were glassy and puffy, and he looked absolutely pitiful. 

“Fine,” Theo sighed. He stood back, holding the door open wide enough for Liam to come in. If Liam wasn’t going to leave, at least Theo wasn’t going to let him freeze to death. 

As Liam walked past him, Theo could feel an aching in his chest. That scent had once been so comforting that nothing else had mattered. The very sight of Liam had once been enough to temper his anxieties. And now? Now he felt as though Liam was the cause of them. 

He led Liam up to his apartment, rifling through his drawers for a spare pair of sweats and a t-shirt. “Go dry off,” he barked, tossing the clothes to Liam, and pointing at the bathroom. 

“You know,” Liam said, walking out of the bathroom, changed now into Theo’s clothes, toweling his hair dry. “If you’re really over me, you should probably get rid of that.” He gestured towards Theo, who looked down, realizing for the first time that the sweatshirt that he had grabbed was Liam’s old Lacrosse hoodie. 

He let out a long sigh, and moved to face the other man. 

“Over you?” Theo said, shaking his head. “No, Liam, I’m not over you. I’ll  _ never  _ be over you. I loved you so much it changed me. I loved you so much that I threw self preservation out the window to protect you, to keep you from being hurt, to keep you from being killed. I loved you so much that I worked my ass off to be a better person, to become the kind of person that might deserve a guy like you. I loved you so much that I thought I would die if something ever happened to you. I’m not over you, Liam.” Theo paused. “I’m never going to be over you,” he whispered.

“So come home,” Liam insisted, reaching out for Theo’s hand, only to have him pull away. 

“I can’t.” Theo shook his head. 

“I made a mistake,” Liam said, looking into Theo’s eyes. “I made a huge mistake, and I realized it the moment the words left my mouth, but you and I? We were always so...volatile. We loved like the world was ending the next day, and we fought like we were the ones going to end it, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be together, Theo. I messed up. I said the one thing that I never should have, but that doesn’t mean that I meant it!” He looked up at Theo, his eyes full of longing, desperation. “I know you, Theo,” he said softly. “I know you’ve made mistakes you wish you could take back, and I just...it seems a little...wrong that you would expect me to forgive every single one of those - and I have, Theo, I really have - but that you can’t forgive me mine.”

Theo had run. He had run off that very night, not giving Liam a chance to talk to him, to explain, or to apologize for what had gone down between them. He had felt toxicity in every pore of his body, and he had just had to get out. He had made himself unfindable, he had made himself certain that he would never speak to Liam again, and now? Now Liam was standing before him, he wasn’t screaming, he wasn’t shouting, his eyes weren’t flashing yellow, nothing was being thrown. Liam was speaking with rationality and conviction. It wasn’t like anything Theo had ever seen during their arguments.

Theo had never seen Liam so calm, and he didn’t understand it. 

“You were talking about loving me so much you thought it might kill you?” Liam said. “You weren’t the only one, Theo. When I realized you weren’t coming back, I…” he trailed off, and Theo could see tears welling in his eyes. “I’ve been searching for you for two years, Theo, so that we could have this conversation. Whether you come back or not, and it’s...I guess it’s a not, but I needed you to know. I couldn’t let those words be the last ones I said to you.” Liam looked up at him. “I know you’re not that guy anymore. I know who you are. I love you, Teddy, and I am so sorry.” He took a shaky breath. “And if this really is over, I want that to be the last thing you remember me saying to you.” 

With that, he grabbed his wet clothes, heading for the door. 

Theo watched him leave, a lump rising in his own throat, that ache in his chest becoming a tightness he had never felt before, and after a few moments, he threw open his apartment window, leaping out of it, landing on the wet ground with a soft thud.

When Liam opened the door of the building to exit, to go to his car, to drive back to a home he didn’t understand anymore, Theo was there, right at the bottom of the steps.

“Theo,” he said, stunned. 

Theo didn’t speak. He just walked up to Liam and pulled him in close, kissing him like Liam was everything...and he was. 

“I will always love you, Liam,” Theo whispered as he pulled away, not even feeling the cold November air with Liam so close. 

“So come home with me,” Liam whispered, pressing his forehead against Theo’s. “Come back to Beacon Hills, come back to our apartment.”

“You kept our apartment?” Theo asked. 

“Of course I did,” he said softly. “It was the last place I got to be with you, I wasn’t ready to let it go. Just come back to it, to me. Please. I’ll beg, I’ll plead, whatever I have to do to make you believe that I  _ know  _ I fucked up, and to know that I want you, that I love you. What do I have to do, Teddy?” He asked. “Just tell me.”

“You’ve already done it.” Theo pulled Liam in, kissing him again. 

“So you’ll come home?” Liam asked, sounding hopeful. 

“I’m already home,” Theo said softly. 

“No,” Liam’s face fell. “Theo,  _ Teddy, _ please.”

“Liam,” Theo placed his hand on Liam’s chin, pulling the young man’s gaze up to him, kissing him softly. “Wherever you are,” he said, his arms draped around Liam. He gazed into his eyes, fully willing to be lost in them forever. “That’s home.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, and extra special thanks to my beta, kaijucade!  
> If you want, come say hi on tumblr, I'm purplehoodiesandleatherjackets.tumblr.com.


End file.
